Flashback
by IdleWit
Summary: Angel tries a spell to forget one thing. It goes wrong and he and Buffy end up in his past when he was Liam.
1. Prologue

_**This is my second fan fiction I hope you enjoy. It'll get more exciting...at least I hope. Anywayz in this story Angel tries a spell to forget one bad deed he did but it goes wrong and him and Buffy go back to his past:**_

_CHAPTER ONE_

"_Forget Forget what time has set _

_Forget Forget pain of regret_

_Forget Forget all that you know _

_Forget Forget what you see within the window."_

Angel took a deep breath and then stepped into the cavern. Someone had told him about this place. It was supposed to be were Garvorn was. Angel had told himself he wouldn't come to this place, couldn't just wish away his problems but he so wanted to. If Buffy knew where he was she would be angry, disappointed, she'd never forgive him. Angel couldn't help it, he knew he was supposed to be physically stronger then humans, but mentally he was exactly the same. He wanted the same thing they did, he wanted to just forget.

"Hello," he called.

"Welcome, Angel" came a strong booming voice, flames erupted in a circle around Angel. "I knew you were coming."

"Of course you did," said Angel, raising his eyebrow, "We talked over the phone. I made an appointment and then you went on and on about your day and how great your job is until I had to hang up before I died, again, of boredom."

The flames immedietly disappeared and the cavern lighted up revealing a pink interior and fluffy couches.

"You just couldn't pretend to be scared , could you?" grumbled a short blue demon with a high squeaky voice, "Just for once I'd like a big strong customer shaking in their boots because of me."

"I'd think you've already achieved that,"said Angel, looking in horror at the pink flower coloured top and hot pink pants the guy was wearing.

"Have you brought the payment," the guy said, ignoring Angel's response.

Angel nodded, "Here you go," he said handing over a brown paper bag. The guy peeled it open and stuck his head in it, savoring the smell.

"I don't know who can resist that smell," said the guy, a humongous grin on his face.

"Uh..yeah," said Angel trying to be enthusiastic and failing miserably, "I totally dig smelling McDonald's happy meals." He was starting to regret his decision of coming here.

The guy flicked his finger, the bag, along with the golden arches, disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Let's get down to business shall we," said Garvorn regretfully, "Why don't you take a seat and tell me what you want Mr Angel."

"It's just Angel," he said, "And I think I'll stand thanks."

"I insist," he said guiding him firmly to one of the many pink, fluffy, grotesque seats.

'_Definetly regretting coming here,'_ Angel thought.

**_Please review so I know to write more. Next in the story they do the spell. Buffy gets drunk and pushes Angel in a closet. Buffy meets Angel's father. _**


	2. PARTAY

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I really, really appreciate it. Please keep on going so I know what I'm doing wrong and right. If there are any things you like, tell me and I'll try and write more of those moments in, if there are any moments you really hate tell me and I'll get them out, if there are any moments you want in I'll try and write them in to the best of my ability. So PLEASE do more reviews. Okay to explain and recap Angel went to Garvorn, a demon who can make a person forget whatever memory they want but it can only be a single memory. Angel goes to him because I'm guessing he has a whole lot he wants to forget. I've not really gone into the details of the one memory he really wants to forget but I will as the story moves along. Hope you like this chapter. I'm sorry if my last chapter wasn't very long and I'll try to make this one longer.**

_**FLASHBACK**_

PART-AY

CHAPTER TWO

"_Back back back, to the past we go_

_Can't escape it, Can't fight it_

_Suck you in, turn you like it_

_Back back back, to the past we go._

Buffy Summers was drunk, plain and simply drunk. She supposed that's what she got for having three glasses of alcohol. It's not like she planned on getting drunk, it had just happened. She had been talking to the barkeep in the Bronze about her boyfriend. Flirting with him would be more accurate, but it was only to make Angel jealous when he showed, correction if he showed. The guy had given her one glass on the house. Buffy wasn't about to tell this generous guy who wasn't Angel that she didn't drink. She had gulped it down quickly, just to get it over with, then the two other glasses had just followed.

"So anywayz," she said to the barkeep, practically falling over the bar, "My best friend Willow had, supposedly, this humongous assignment she had to do. And my other friend Xander, well I can't talk to him about Angel so here I am stuck with you." she sighed heavily and then smiled, "Did you know I like mangoes."

"Ah no," said the guy, trying to get away from her.

Buffy grabbed his arm shirt, "Hey," she said, "Don't leave yet, let's talk about pretty parrots."

"I think your boyfriends here," said the guy looking relieved, "You know the tall dark handsome one."

"Where," said Buffy turning around and letting go of his arm. She saw Angel looking at her, concern on his face as he pushed through the crowd.

"Angel," she called excitedly, jumping up and down and waving. Then she remembered she was supposed to be angry with him and stopped, pouting. Angel finally reached her.

"Buffy," he said, "How did you get drunk?"

"Fine then don't say a simple high," said Buffy, "And I didn't get drunk because of you Mr Sun."

"You got drunk because of me?" asked Angel puzzled.

"No," said Buffy, "Where would you get an idea like that. The world doesn't revolve around you Angel."

"I better get you home," said Angel, pulling on her arm.

"Wait I want to dance," said Buffy pulling him towards the dance floor. Angel could only follow.

"Buffy I don't.." he started to say but then she started to dance.

Angel was completely bewildered, what was he, an innocent vampire boyfriend, supposed to do with a drunk slayer who wanted to dance.

"Buffy we better go," he said, he knew he'd be blushing right now if it was possible.

Buffy scrunched up her nose, Angel could be such a spoilsport. "Just cause your two hundred and something and a vampire and have a soul doesn't give you an excuse not to dance with your girlfriend." she said, "Now dance," she grabbed his arms and started to wave them about.

"I'm bored now," she said a few minutes later, to Angel's intense relief.

"I know, let's go to the broom closet," she said brightening. "That will be fun."

She dragged Angel towards the broom closet despite his protest and opened it. A couple was in their making out.

"It's occupied," said Angel his voice cracking with relief, "Let's come back never."

"Get out," she said to the couple in their who were staring at them.

One look at the Slayers not so happy face got them moving. Buffy pulled Angel into the closet with her and closed the door.

"This is fun," she said giggling.

Angel didn't find it so fun as a broom was poking him in the back.

"Lets go now," said Angel.

"Don't you like me?" asked Buffy tears welling up in her eyes.

"Of course I do," said Angel, "Buffy I love you."

"Then why have you been avoiding me this past week?" she asked.

Angel opened his mouth, but then he closed it again how was he supposed to explain it to her, all those feelings, all that guilt, all those memories. Then everything turned dark.

"_Angelus," a voice was calling sweetly, "Angelus." _

_Angel knew that voice that was like tinkling glass. The lady that smelled like roses. He was still in a closet and Buffy was beside him, but she was transparent. She tried to touch him, her eyes wide. When her hand went through him she started to giggle._

"_Shhhhhh," came a little voice behind them. _

_Angel and Buffy turned around to see a little boy of about four. His chubby little finger was on his lips._

"_I'm playing hide and seek with Ma." _

"_Gottchya," laughed a voice and the closet door swung open._

_Everything went black._

When Angel opened his eyes he was back in the normal Bronze broom closet. Buffy, solid again, looked at him.

"I coulda' sworn," she started to mutter but then collapsed in his arms.

"Come on," he said quietly, "I better get you home."

**Okay not as long as I was hoping but I'll try to make it longer next time.: )**


	3. Feelings

**Okay here goes : )!**

_**FLASHBACK**_

**FEELINGS**

CHAPTER THREE

Mrs Summer's sat at the kitchen table, cradling a hot cup of coffee. Buffy still hadn't come home, Joyce glanced at the digital clock on the microwave. The green light illuminated the numbers revealing it was 10:30. Joyce knew Buffy had said she was going to the Bronze, but she knew by now that even if Buffy wasn't patrolling she still could run into evil. Joyce tried to believe that the vampires wouldn't attack, not when she wasn't 'working', but try as she might she knew she couldn't.

Gone were the day's when Joyce thought Buffy was in some sort of gang, no now Joyce knew the truth, Buffy was the Slayer. She didn't know what was worse, Buffy the girl who saved the world, or Buffy the troubled, gang related teen. She knew it sounded strange, being unsure which one was worse, but she still was.

Buffy the troubled teen Joyce could handle, she could take control, help her daughter, finally make it stop. Buffy the Slayer was another matter entirely. The Slayer Joyce could not help, Joyce could not take charge of, the burden of fighting the darkness would never go away.

A creak of the floorboards came from upstairs, shaking Joyce from her reverie and making her jump. She waited for a while, still, listening._ 'Silly,'_ she thought,_ 'It was just the old house.'_ She let out a breath she had been unconsciously holding then their was a loud, "**CRASH,**" Joyce jumped, "_What am I supposed to do,"_ she thought, panicked. "_There's only one thing I can do,"_ a voice said grimly in her mind,_ "No Summer woman is ever going to run away like a coward, ever."_ Joyce got up, after a moments thought she opened the top draw as quietly as she could and grabbed the meat cleaver. With that firmly in her grasp, she tiptoed out of the kitchen and quietly up the stairs.

"Dammit," Angel growled. He had tripped over Mr Gordo and slammed into Buffy's dressing table. _'Why me,' _he thought.

First it had been the difficulty of dragging Buffy up the roof, to her window. It wasn't that she was heavy, it was the fact that in her dreams she kept on fighting with a big marsh mellow. When you fight with a marsh mellow a lot of kicking was involved. Often these kicks hit Angel instead. Buffy was strong and Angel could feel bruises all over his body, he felt like he had been used as a punch bag.

Mr Gordo smiled up at him, making Angel want to rip his head off even more, the only thing that stopped him was the fact that Buffy would be extremely upset, Mr Gordo was some childhood thing, Angel relieved his feelings by making his face change. "Yeah," he whispered to Mr Gordo's smiling piggy face, "You better not do that again. Or I might get hungry for stuffed pig."

Angel heard footsteps coming up the stairs, he could hear the heart beats and heavy breathing of a frightened woman._ 'Oh no, not this,' _he thought, frantically he went to the window and put one leg over.

"Stop right their mister," came Miss Summers voice behind him. "I rang the police and their on their way."

Angel immedietly discerned the lie. "It's me Miss Summer's," he said quietly, "Just me Angel, Buffy's boyfriend." He turned around.

"What are you..?" Joyce started to ask then she stopped. Angel tried to understand what she was looking at and saw her glancing at him and then staring at Buffy, pale. Angel was confused, Buffy looked perfectly fine to him and was sleeping soundly. The moon shone over her, making her look pale and lifeless, Angel thought she looked like a snow queen he had seen once, when he was young, in a story book.

"Buffy," called Miss Summers in a broken voice, "Buffy, honey."

Angel knew Buffy wouldn't answer, she was out cold and would only wake up tomorrow morning, with a humongous hangover, if his memory served him correctly. He let out a breath, here was the moment he had been trying to avoid for himself and Buffy, the moment Joyce found out her underage daughter had been drinking and got drunk. Angel opened his mouth to explain before Joyce exploded but it was too late. Except Joyce exploded about something Angel wasn't expecting.

"You killed her," she said, their was a fire raging in her eyes that made Angel, 'W_isely'_ he thought, scared of her.

Angel just stared at her, his mouth gaping open.

"Buffy said you were good now, but I should have known better. I should have warned her, I should have.. have," Joyce's voice broke. "You monster," she screamed at Angel and threw the meat cleaver she was holding, Angels pure instinct was the only thing that saved his face from being smashed. His arm got the brunt of it instead, and, Angel felt his skin tear, blood welling up.

"Mum," came a quiet voice from the bed, "can you turn down the radio."

"Buffy," said Joyce, looking even paler as she knelt down next to Buffy. "Honey your alive," she said, this was too much for Joyce, she started to cry.

"Course I'm alive," Buffy mumbled.

"Oh Buffy I thought," said Joyce, but Buffy had already fallen back to sleep.

Joyce sat their crying and holding Buffy's hand. She supposed that the stress had finally gotten to her, causing her to blame Angel, he had had his vampire face on though so... "Angel," she said,suddenly remembering the poor vampire who had been at the wrong place, looking the wrong way and being a target for Joyce's meat cleaver. But he was gone and all Joyce saw as evidence he had been their was a meat cleaver with a slight tinge of blood on it and some droplets on the carpet.

"Oh my," gasped Joyce, "I hurt him."

Angel walked down the dark street not knowing were he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away... just get away. The bad thing about walking without a destination was the habit of thinking about things he'd rather not dwell on, like the moment in the closet at the Bronze and the way Joyce had knelt beside Buffy, crying.

Angel could not explain what had happened in the closet, it was so quick he wasn't even sure it had actually happened, except for that smell, he still imagined he could smell it and hear that tinkling laugh. This memory led him to thinking of Joyce, kneeling beside her daughters bed... holding her hand... crying...

"_Angelus, my little angel, your going to be fine my darlin'. Don't be frightened, your going to be fine... my lovely darlin'... my little boy." _

"_Mamma why are your cheeks so wet?"_

Angel gasped as someone brushed past him, hitting his injured arm. It was already nearly closed, but that didn't stop the pain. His memory disappeared as quickly as it had come. Instead Angel thought of how he had received the cut.

He saw Joyce's pale face, her fear and pain and... hate. '_How can I blame her,'_ he thought bitterly, '_She has every right to hate me. I'm a monster just like she said. I showed her my true face and she made a plausible conclusion, which one day may be true.' _Angel knew he deserved it, he had terrorized people, caused peoples death, he had caused Buffy and her friends... her family endless pain. He knew all this and yet it still stung.. it still stung to see Joyce's pale face, hear her words, "You killed her."

_'I wonder what my mother would have looked like if she ever faced Darla with the knowledge of her part in my death,'_ a thought unexpectedly came to him. Angel didn't know what to feel when he realise he didn't know, couldn't even guess.

**Okay this chapter was a little more longer and serious then the others. I don't know why I just felt like putting in some deep moments, oh great now I sound I'm crazy. Anywho I hope you liked it and I made it nice and long. Please review so I know to write more and tell me what you thought about the seriousness, thanks for all the reviews before. : ) **


	4. Help

**This story is held in around season three. Thanks for all the great reviews, I'm getting really positive feedback from everyone, it's really great. If you have any suggestions for the story I'm open to them. I don't know what season this is held, probably season four. Okay Angel and Buffy are going to go to the future properly and be solid so don't worry. **

**Before:Angel goes to a demon to forget something. Buffy gets drunk and they have a flash of the past. Angel has to take Buffy home as she flakes on him. Joyce thinks he killed her and goes psycho, finds out not so but Angel leaves.**

**Feelings:Angel's having serious problems dealing with his past. Buffy's becoming really worried for Angel. Joyce is sorry for what she did. Giles is unsure whether to help or not.**

**FLASHBACK**

CHAPTER FOUR

**HELP**

"_A cry of help from the dark_

_A cry of help from the heart_

_All there is to wait and see_

_Who is truly family."_

Buffy woke up to see her mother standing over her, a stern expression on her face.

"Buffy Anne Summers," she said her arms folded, "You've been drinking."

"Buffy groaned, Here came the lecture, and it did. Joyce went on for what Buffy would have bet was the whole morning. Of course Buffy knew she deserved it, she could have easily said no to that guy, she was just really annoyed at Angel...

"Angel," she said aloud, the memories, extremely fuzzy, came back to her.

"Yes I was just getting to him, the poor boy had to withstand a meat mallet being thrown at him," said Joyce.

"A meat mallet?" asked Buffy, confused.

"Yes well, I _was _under the impression that he had killed you," Joyce said, turning slightly red.

"_Mum"_ said Buffy, horrified, "Please tell me your joking."

"Well it was a reasonable assumption," said Joyce defensively. "I feel bad enough already, the poor boy, I think I hurt him but that wasn't the worst part. You should have seen the look in his eyes Buffy, I feel horrible. You think he'll be okay don't you?"

"Yeah," said Buffy but she wasn't so sure, Angel had been so depressed lately and his absence's from dates had become more frequent. Buffy wasn't so sure that what she saw in the cupboard was real but if it was then at least she could try and understand what was going on. When it came to supernatural Buffy knew her stuff.

"Giles," she muttered and quickly sat up. She had to wait for the room to stop spinning, her head was throbbing.

"I hope you realise your grounded for the rest of your life ," said Joyce.

'I know," said Buffy, "And I totally understand, I just have to call Giles. Some could be business popped up last night."

"One call to Mr Giles and that's it, understand Buffy," Joyce said firmly, Buffy nodded, she'd work at her mother after she made the call.

"Hello," Giles voice came from the other end, Buffy launched straight into it, explaining everything to him.

"I'm really worried about Angel Giles," she said. Their was a tense silence at the other end and Buffy realised too late a sentence involving Angel's name was not the best way to melt Giles heart.

"You do realise that what you saw could have been caused purely by your intoxication," said Giles.

"It wasn't Giles, I'm sure it wasn't," Buffy crossed her fingers. What was a little white lie to finding out the bottom of this.

Their was silence on the end again. Buffy kept quiet, letting Giles think it over.

"I'll see what i can do," he finally said, "But I'm not promising anything." then the phone went dead.

Buffy stared at the phone grumpily, "He couldn't have just said yes or no," she muttered.

**Sorry it was short I'll try to write longer next time. Please review if you whant to read more. : )**


	5. It's Complicated

COMPLICATED

"_Life is so complicated, _

_Ignoring so far_

_All the things that set us apart_

_Apart from others, trying to get away._

_But then the complications lead you astray."_

Buffy looked around the Bronze, no Angel, no anybody, well any of her friends anyway. It had been five days, five whole days since she'd seen Angel. She sighed heavily, sipping at her good old non-alcoholic drink. She had definetly learnt her lesson. It had taken her the whole five days to convince her mum to let her out of the house. She had finally managed to when she got a B on her chemistry essay. Ok so maybe she had shown her mum Willow's by accident. She just had to get out of the house for a while, clear her head and find Angel. She wasn't having much luck on that front. She saw a guy, his back towards her, he was wearing a trenchcoat, _'Looks like Angel,_' she thought. The guy turned around and she saw his face. '_Okay it is Angel, wheres the spidey sense when I need it.' _The guy was heading towards the Bronze's back door.

"Angel," Buffy called out but he didn't turn around didn't stop. She was doubting it was because of all the noise, he was a vampire for God's sake, what happened to the special hearing. She pushed against the crowd following him. When she reached the door he wasn't there anymore, it was slightly ajar, she pushed it the whole way and walked out into the cool night. He had been there she was sure of it, maybe he still was.

"Angel," she called out, nothing answered her. "Okay," she said, slightly creeped out, "This is the moment someones going to..." she dodged as a vampire came at her from behind, it was frothing at the mouth. She scrunched up her nose at the smell. "Okay. Do you have rabbies, cause if you do I am so not fighting you. "

"Die," the vamp roared.

"The Council of Watchers better have health insurance," she muttered, rolling her eyes. Then the thing jumped at her again.

000

Angel was watching her, he couldn't come out, reveal where he was, not now. Then the vampire came at her, he quickly jumped from the roof, landing on the pavement on his feet. Buffy needed help, that was his only thought, the vampire was in front of him, scrabbling with her. He took out his stake, took a few steps forward, raised it and... it burst into dust. Angel blinked slowly. Buffy now stood in front of him, a stake in hand, "Oh," he said, feeling just that tiny bit foolish, okay so he was embarrassed... a lot.

"Sorry," she said, "Did you want to stake him."

Angel lowered his arm, hiding it behind his back. "No... uh... no I'm fine."

Buffy looked up at the roof, "So that's where you were hiding." Angel said nothing.

"Came out to save me, huh." Buffy smiled lightly, holding up her stake. "Slayer remember. I'm usually the one who does the rescuing." Angel still didn't say anything, what was he supposed to say, that he forgot. "I havn't seen you in... wow what's your name again." Buffy said.

"That's not funny," Angel said quietly.

"Well niether is you playing hide and seek," Buffy replied.

"You know I was never good at that game," Angel muttered.

"Now who's being the un- funny one,"Buffy replied.

"What do you want from me Buffy," he said putting his hands out in front of him. "You know cause I'm having a hard time figuring out what it is. I be with you, it's too much, I get you in danger. I stay away and your upset. You know I'm not sure anymore what the hell I'm doing. It was so simple before, I used to live on the streets eating rats, life wasn't as..." he sighed, "I only thought about all the guilt, everything I'd done, I never thought about... things before I was evil."

"Why don't you tell me," said Buffy, "It's usually what you do in a relationship, you know, talk."

"It's complicated," Angel said, turning around, and then things started to dissolve.

"_They were standing in a room, Angel saw a man, he was intoxicated, Angel was pretty sure of it, hell it had rarely happened but when it did. _

"_Are you an ass Liam," he was yelling at a ten year old boy standing in front of him. "How could you do that in front of all of me' guests. Embarrassed the whole family yee' did, what the bloody ell were yee thinkin'?"_

"_I just wanted to see what was under the ol' fathers wig Da'," he said, his arms folded._

_The man raised his belt, "Yee wanted to see, I'll be showin' you what 'appens to ungodly children like ya."_

"_Leave him alone Patrick," a lady stepped in front of him, shielding the boy with her body. "The boy didn' mean nothin'. Yee can't be so hard on him, he's only young yet, he needs to learn but not that way. Kindness speaks more 'en beltin's."_

_The man stood there for a few more minutes, glaring at her, then he slowly lowered his gaze and his belt. "I'm sorry Liam, I shidn't be so hard on yer, yer are only young after all." he attempted to smile, "Goin to forgive me son?"_

_The boy looked as if he was about to say no but then he looked up at the lady, she nodded slightly._

"_S'allright Da'," he finally said, although it looked quite painful for him. Then things started to black out._

They stood in the alley for a moment, unsure of what to do,... to think... to say.

"Complicated," Buffy finally muttered.

**Sorry i havn't updated in so long but finally it's the holidays, NO SCHOOL! I'm exstatic so hopefully I'll be 'ritin** **more for ye. I hope you liked, please review. : ).**


	6. What is Fair?

**FLASHBACK**

CHAPTER SIX

**_WHAT IS FAIR?_**

"_All's fair in love and war_

_Theirs the rich and then theirs the poor_

_Fairness not all of us get fed._

_Theirs those living and then those who are dead_

_Then there are the ones left behind_

_Killers, lovers guilt be mine,_

_Nothings fair in love and war... life, no one wins._

_Fairness always hidden behind a locked door."_

Giles heard them before they swung in through the double doors.

"Buffy I'll figure this thing out myself, you shouldn't drag yourself into it." Angel he guessed, an Angel that seemed particularly haggered, upset.

"Has it happened before Angel?" Buffy's voice, harassed, Angel's silence, the question posed again, more insistent. "Has it happened before?"

"No, only with you. It's all the more reason for you to stay away from me, keep away from what's happening." goading, trying to sound confident.

"No that's all the more reason for me to find what's causing this and kick it's ass or stop it, whichever." Buffy's voice, professional, unwavering, then there they were, walking towards Giles at a desk, one glowing with a purpose, confidence, the other bedraggled, looking as if they hadn't slept for a month.

"It happened again Giles," Buffy proclaimed, "And I'm certain this time, I was way sober."

"Wait," Angel said, surprised, "You told Giles about last time."

"Naturally," said Giles standing up now, facing the vampire coldly, "I am her Watcher, one that she can trust."A challenge, one the vampire didn't oppose, he just looked away.

"I have been checking through all of my resources, I haven't found anything yet." this posed to Buffy, ignoring the vampire completely. "Although it is slightly hard without the proper help, I think tomorrow I may achieve better ground with all of you helping."

"But your still trying right?" her eyes were wide, Giles wasn't sure of what she was thinking.

'Yes," he said, "I shall, with your help I may still be able to get through more things. Eliminate books, two eyes are better then one."

"And three make all the difference," she said brightly.

"Three?" Angel and Giles both proclaimed aloud.

"Well Angel has eyes right." Buffy said, pretending as if she didn't understand there outburst.

"Buffy I think it's better if I don't help you guys, I'll just distract you, I'm not great on the whole team work thing." Angel said. His meaning was completely different to his words. His eyes told Buffy that he wasn't welcome here, that he couldn't work with Giles, not after what had happened, what he had done.

"I think Angel's right," Giles said coldly, aloof.

Buffy looked at them both then grabbed Giles arm and steered him towards his office. "Don't go anywhere Angel," she called behind her, "Or your going to have to deal with one majorly annoyed girlfriend."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Angel's mutter carried to them.

Buffy closed the office door behind them and turned to Giles. "Buffy," he said, better to start on the attack. "You can't expect me to let that thing in here, to work with it. I have let you away with a lot of things but I am simply not going to accept this. I am still the Watcher here." _'Yes_,' he thought, '_that should have done it.'_

"Giles," she said facing him, then she started to pace. "You don't understand, Angel he's... he can help us research, find out things. He never tries the research but he's two hundred and something years old, he's bound to have picked up some knowledge and language over the years. He has to better at it then any of the gang, we are teenagers and our minds do wander, your always saying how you wished you had someone else to help."

"Yes but not him," Giles said, opening up to his feelings, "Do you have any idea what it causes me to see that thing walking around, enjoying life in it's own way. Every time I look at him I see Jenny lying their dead and the one that killed her... he got a second chance in this world. You may be able to forgive and forget Buffy but I never will."

"I'm not asking you to," said Buffy quietly, her face turned to the ground as she paced, "But just think Giles, what that thing did to Jenny you can't excuse it, but Angel he's not that thing. But he carries that burden every day, how's that fair?"

"Oh yes and it makes me feel so better that her killer is sorry," Giles snapped, "Yes I'll just go forgive him now shall I, oh and while I'm at it why don't I ask him if I can have the damn chainsaw he tortured me with, you know I've been thinking about trimming some tree's."

Buffy flinched, stopped pacing, backed away from Giles. He sighed, regret filling him, he didn't mean to yell like that. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to yell at you." their was silence for a while.

"Please Giles," Buffy said, her voice was filled with pain, unhappiness, "Angel's not acting like himself, you saw him, he hasn't slept in ages, I don't even think he's been drinking. I'm scared about what will happen if he's left alone. I know you lost Jenny and it hurt, but please I'm not ready to lose Angel again... not again."

Giles looked up, Buffy was watching him, a tear rolling down her cheek. "How do you want me to help?" he asked wearily.

"Can you just let him stay here, in the library, watch him." Giles nodded slowly.

"Are you sure he'll abide by that?" he asked.

"Oh, he's so going to be abiding by it," she said.

"I better get home," Buffy said two hours later, "Mum's going to freak. I told her I'd be home by ten." They were all sitting around the tables in the library, each one with a pile of books.

She stood up, stretching, a yawn escaping her. _'Time to start the ball rolling,'_ she thought.

"So Giles, are you going to be heading home now?" she asked casually.

"No," Giles said, absorbed in his search through the musty old tombs. Buffy knew Angel was watching her, she furrowed her brows in pretend concern.

"Are you sure you'll be okay, I mean their hasn't been activity around in ages, it's usually when things start to pop up." By this point Giles wasn't listening. Buffy stood their for a while, trying to make her concern look convincing, it wasn't like she wasn't always concerned for Giles but she knew what he was capable of, he could get himself out of tight situations if need be, and hell who wasn't in danger twenty four seven on the Hellmouth.

"Angel," she suddenly said, as if an idea had just formed in her mind, "Can you show me where you put my bag, I mean it's my favorite can't leave without it." She made it obvious she wanted to talk to Angel about something and since he had been watching her he would hopefully put two and two together and come out with the reasonable answer. After all Buffy hadn't even brought a bag. He got up, Buffy walked towards the counter, he followed. Giles hadn't seemed to have even noticed the exchange. '_Either he's a really good actor,'_ she thought, _'Or he has totally forgotten about our plan.'_

"Look Angel," she said, playing it on thick, _'Better thick then thin,'_ she thought. "I'm really worried..." Angel put up his hand.

"I heard, Buffy," he said, "What you guys said in the office, I heard." Buffy looked at him confused, then she gave a small pout, trying to make a joke out of it.

"Did you eaversdrop," she said, looking at him sternly.

"No," he said, shifting uncomfortably, "I tried not to listen but you know vampire hearing."

"Oh," she said. They stood their in silence for a while. "Your going to stay right," before he could answer she started to argue, "You have to Angel, please. What I said is all true you have to see that I just want..."

"Yes," he cut in, "I was going to say yes anyway."

"Oh," she exclaimed again, turning slightly red. "Why," trying to divert the attention from herself.

"I guess it was something you said."

"What?" she was curious now.

"You better get going," he muttered, "It's eleven thirty."

"Right," she was slightly disappointed, "I'll get with the going now." She turned, walked towards the door, waited for him to call out, say something before she walked through them. Then she was there, at the mark, she glanced behind her, Angel was heading back towards the table and piles of books... she walked through the doors.

Angel turned his head to where Buffy had been standing, maybe he should have said something, told her something, anything, what she wanted to hear, he watched for a second... then he turned back to the books.

Ten minutes after Buffy had left Giles and Angel were both arguing.

"Will you stop that," Giles snapped irritably.

'What?" Angel asked.

"That consistent clacking of that pen." Angel hadn't even noticed he had been clicking the pacer he had picked up from the table.

"Sorry," he said, immedietly putting it down. After a while he shifted in his seat yawning, Giles glared at him. Angel tried to stop mid yawn which just caused him to start another one. He quickly picked up the book he was sifting through, hiding his face.

"Ah," he said, "Do you think this could be it, it says when a person experiences a mortal wound they can often release energy which drags them and others around them into a alternate dimension for a time. Oh wait that's not it is it, you'd have to be solid their and someone has to have a mortal wound."

"I'm guessing it was memories of yours, both times." Giles said.

"I told you that," Angel said awkwardly, "Of when I was a boy."

"Do the memories hold any significance to you" Giles persisted.

Angel ignored his question, "Hey," he said, looking at a picture of a man, "I knew that guy."

"Glaar the Bloody," Giles said.

"Yeah," said Angel, "He didn't have any magical powers it was his sword," he frowned, reading the book further.

"Do you know what happened to him?" Giles asked, interested beside himself.

"Oh yeah, I sort of killed him." said Angel, "liked to gamble but wasn't exactly the best at it."

Their was a silence for a while. Angel picked up the pacer and started to clack it again.

"For God's sake," Giles snapped, "Will you stop that."

Angel put it down, they sat in silence again. "Arranid," Giles muttered under his breathe, trying to remember what the word meant.

"I don't think that's the right thing your looking at," said Angel, looking up, a startled look on his face.

"Why not?" Giles snapped, "Please enlighten me."

"That's a demon Krannians text right, on their history." Giles nodded, "Arranid is prostitute." Angel muttered, trying to hide a smile.

"Oh," Giles said skeptically, not believing him, "So it says, "The great Glagslarr brought the Krannian people memories back. It was as if they lived them, in flashes. They especially enjoyed the ones that entailed great Glaggslarr and the pro... Oh I see what you mean."

Angel was shaking now, with what was obviously laughter, he ducked his head under the table. He came up after a few minutes, "Sorry," he said, "I just never imagined you reading something like that. I did tell you so."

"Well how am I expected to believe you," Giles snapped.

"Look I'm just trying to help you," Angel said, "For Buffy's sake."

"You... help, a five year old would be more help. You can't even research right."

"You know you remind me of someone," Angel snapped, standing up, "A real critical guy, liked to pick on everything everyone else did. But when it came to him everything he did was right and good and perfect. A real hypocritical self righteous ba..." He trailed off at this, losing his steam as he noticed Giles looking at him in shock.

There was silence for a while, Giles made the first move of peace.

"Were both tired and cranky, why don't you go have a rest." he said.

"I can't blame you,"Angel said, "For hating me." Neither of them moved.

"Look will you just go rest," Giles snapped, "There's not much we can do right now, I'm going home soon anyway."

Angel looked at him and then moved away from the desk, realising that Giles wanted some time alone. They both needed a rest from eachother.

"The chair in my office is the best place to sleep," Giles said, "It's the most comfortable piece of furniture."

Angel hesitated, then when Giles didn't look up he headed for the office. After twenty minutes had elapsed Giles got up, heading for the office. He almost fell over Angel, who seemed to have vouched to sleep on the floor in front of the doorway. He looked down at him, unconsciously one of his hands had slipped into his pocket, gripping the stake he always kept there. Angel didn't move, didn't twitch, his chest didn't even rise up and down. How easy would it be, to avenge Jenny's death right now, to end the monsters life. Angel suddenly rolled on his side, growling like an animal in his sleep, he muttered words Giles couldn't catch, his chest started to rise and fall a pretense of a humans, he was breathing quickly. He started to thrash around slightly, "I didn't mean..." he muttered. Giles only hesitated for another minute, then he quietly closed the door, inserted his key and locked it. He preffered to know that Angel wasn't able to sneak up on him, not without alerting him first.

He headed back to his books, half an hour later he stumbled across a word he had no idea of. "Oh bloody hell," he muttered, shutting the book. It was in old Gaelic, the vampire would have probably have certainly known what it meant but no, Giles had to send him to bed. He rubbed his head, all he had hit was dead ends, this thing, whatever was happening to Angel, could affect Buffy. After all it only happened when Buffy was around Angel, it could be a new adversary a dangerous demon who was toying with her. '_After all_', Giles thought wryly, '_There's no better way to get to her_.' Giles had unconsciously been staring at a book laying open, the one he had been reading previously It was a Watchers Diary, Giles had been checking to see if any Slayers had come across a demon who could bring people and others around them into memories. There had been nothing... Giles suddenly had a thought, maybe he was looking in the wrong place, at the wrong thing. "I wonder," he said, he headed for the cage were he kept all the ancient and unique books, among them were the rest of The Watchers Diaries.

**Pleaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee Review. : p. Hope you liked it, felt very deep today. Okay so I'm strange. Scratch that don't listen to me, oh except the first thing I wrote. ; p.**


	7. Those Awkward Momments

**Sorry it took so long. **

CHAPTER SEVEN

**THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS**

"_It happens like this, you know you see,_

_Your worst moments always on display,_

_Silence stretch so far and wide,_

_Until you wish that you could hide,_

_But it will always follow you,_

_No matter what you try to do,"_

Willow Rosenberg swung through the library doors, she looked around but nobody seemed to be in yet. The library seemed awfully dim, all the curtains were firmly shut over the windows. She was early for school, no doubt Buffy was still getting ready, Xander was still in bed, Oz was driving here, and Giles, well she wasn't exactly sure why Giles wasn't here yet. She frowned, her forehead crinkled.

"Giles," she called out, there was no response. "Okay then," she said aloud, slightly freaked out. "I'm all alone," she placed her back pack on a vacant chair, walking towards the computer on the counter. "May as well do some extra research," she muttered. Then she heard it, someone had let out a horrified yell, it sounded like a wounded creature, something in pain. Willow jumped, she snapped around, her eyes wide and filled with fear. Nothing was there, the yell had come from the direction of the office, Willow was pretty sure of that. She quickly grabbed a stake and cross lying on the table and walked slowly towards the office. She crept up to the door, someone was trying to twist the doorknob but it was locked. They stopped after a while, then their was no sound at all. Willow wasn't sure what to do, calling out to the thing would alert it of her presence, and she couldn't just ignore it, after all it could be a demon that could slam the door open in a few seconds. '_Or,_' she thought, _'It could have Giles in there with it, slowly eating his flesh'. _Willow shuddered. _'Keyhole,_' Willow though suddenly, _'Perfect._.' She bent down, leveling her eye with the keyhole she concentrated. She couldn't see a lot, a little bit of the office, then a red shirt, it looked awfully familiar. Then a brown eye was looking straight into hers, Willow screamed, jumping back.

"Willow," came a voice from the other side of the door, "Don't worry it's only me, Angel." Willow stifled her scream, trying to remember to breathe. Her heart was pumping fast.

"Angel," she said, cautious.

"Yeah," he said, "I wasn't sure who it was, that's why I didn't say anything. I'm going to break the lock now." Willow saw the doorknob moving again and then there was a loud crack, the wood split slightly. The door opened and there stood Angel in a red button shirt and black pants. He stepped out, Willow sighed, slightly relieved.

"What were you doing in Giles' office?' she asked, smiling a little at the thought of Angel sneaking in there to steal one of Giles' Watchers Diaries like Willow and Buffy had done. Somehow she didn't think that's what he was doing.

"Buffy convinced me to sleep here, I wasn't feeling so crash hot, Giles suggested I sleep in his office." Angel muttered awkwardly.

"Oh.. I get why it was locked he must have forgot you were in there, right?" Willow said brightly.

"Yeah, whatever you say," Angel said uncomittedly.

Willow realised what Angel was thinking, she didn't really like to think of it herself so she quickly changed the subject. "So you must have been the one who made that sound then?"

"I was having a bad dream," Angel said, looking at the floor. Then there was that awkward silence, Willow looked around, trying to find anything to talk about other then the obvious things like, how are you feeling, which was obviously not well, or what did you dream about which she was pretty certain she didn't want to know.

"Giles," Angel said, looking behind her. She turned around to see Giles with tousled hair holding a coffee cup and a book.

"Hello Willow," Giles said, completely ignoring Angel, "I didn't expect you to be in so early."

"Yeah," Willow said, "Mum started late today and she offered to drop me off."

"Ah... well then you can start helping me straight away," Giles said, "Buffy and... Angel have been experiencing some strange things lately. They..."

"Flashed back in time," Willow interrupted, "Yeah I know Buffy told me."

"Is their anyone she didn't tell," she heard Angel mutter.

"Well I've been researching possible demons who could be responsible for this. The stack of books on the table are ones that may contain some information on what were dealing with." Giles said, he headed for the stack.

"So I guess we all betta get in research mode," Willow said, smiling at Angel. He gave a small smile back, slightly unsure of what to say. They stood there in silence for a while then he headed towards the table. Willow sighed heavily, she was wondering why she had ever accepted that lift from her mum. What was she thinking coming to school early.

Buffy slammed through the doors twenty minutes later, she had convinced her mum to drop her to school earlier then usual. Her mum had asked her if she was sick, which was quite a reasonable question. Buffy looked around, Giles was sitting at the table, so was Will and... Angel. She sighed heavily, she had been scared that she'd only find a pile of dust when she got back, but no there he was, perfectly fine.

"I come bearing gifts," she said, holding up a box of donuts courtesy of her mum, bought on the way there. She had explained to her how they were working on something and had to research and she had offered to get them a treat. Sometimes mum's could be the best.

"Ohh, donuts," Willow said, grinning and quickly getting up, "I'm famished."

Giles got up too, "Buffy your at school early," he said.

"Yes Giles," she said, grinning, "I've achieved what was the unachievable."

"Did you get the jelly kind," he asked as Buffy placed the box on the counter, Buffy just opened it up and showed donut heaven. There were jelly, custard, cinnamon and the ones with the icing on them. They stood there for a while, taking the wonderful smell and sight in, then they grabbed one each. Buffy grabbed another one and headed Angel's way, he hadn't looked up after she had entered.

"Hey," she said, smiling at him, "Want a donut?" She held it in front of him, teasing him.

"I don't think," he started to say, Buffy grabbed his hand and put it in it.

"Now you have to eat it," she said, grinning, "Come on, try one. Just cause you don't have to eat doesn't mean you can't. So how's the research going."

"Not good," Angel said, "We haven't found anything, well at least anything useful. Did you know though, fish only have five second memories because some demon stole them."

"What would you do with a fishes memory?" Buffy asked, frowning.

"They use to hold all the secrets of the world, and used to be rich, at least that's what it said."

"Well I mean course they were rich, look at the amount of people that chuck coins in there ponds and they probably blackmail people too." Buffy said reasonably.

Angel frowned, "I lost you on the last one."

"Well people think lakes are the most romantic places to make out, it's where you go on camp. That's where you get to cheat on your boyfriend with the hot one time guy."

Angel looked at her, "How do you know that?" he asked suspiciously.

Buffy smiled, secretive, "Girls don't reveal all their secrets, takes the fun out of life. Now are you going to eat that donut or shall I?" She reached for it but Angel quickly snapped it away, he stood up, Buffy jumped after him, trying to reach it.

"Pick on the small one why don't you," she grumbled.

Angel smiled for the first time in what seemed like years. Buffy took heart from this, playfully batting the donut. It fell, both the slayer and the vampire reached for it, caught it. Their hands touched and they looked at eachother, smiling. The world around them didn't seem to matter, it was just them and the moment. Then their surroundings started to dissolve.

_Buffy and Angel were leaning over a desk, well at least they felt as if they were except, well they weren't, it was the bodies they were in. Angel could see Buffy through the maids eyes, yet she wasn't Buffy, her body was the old scullery maid his family hired. It took a while for Angel to realise she was talking and not in Buffy's voice either, nor was it words that would ever pass from Buffy's lips. It took him a while to realise he was responding, well he wasn't his former self was. _

_'I remember this,' Angel thought. They were the exact same words he remembered having with... Sarah, yes Sarah, the day she arrived. It would have been when he was about fifteen. _

"_It would do you well Sarah to stick with me," he said, Angel snorted to himself, he always had such a high opinion of himself back then,he loved to flirt with the women. The problem was the women responded which just made his ego swell even more. 'Oh my God,' he thought realising Buffy was there too. This was not one of his finest moments but not one of his worst either. He just wish they could get back to the real world before he did anything even more embarrassing. _

_Sarah battered her eyes as Angel remembered. "Master Liam, it's so kind of you to offer."_

"_You'll be needin' it, my fathers a right royal, well the word to use ain't apppropriate for a lady."_

"_Oh Master Liam," she sighed, "Yer such a gen'elmin, but I ain't no fancy lady sir, I'm just a 'umble maid." She lowered her head, batting her long lashes. _

"_Hush, it ain't right to be speaking' lies ye know that." 'Fool,' Angel thought, disgusted, it was far too late. He hadn't even bothered to learn her name, which made it look worse. "Yer finer then the court ladies, anyway. Me, well I prefer maids to em'. The lot of em' are quite dumb, I've been told, and as ugly as pigs."_

_Liam leaned closer to Sarah, in for the kill, "None of this silly Master Liam, call me Angelus." He brought out his most charming smile. Sarah was blushing a deep red, her breathe was fast and sharp. _

"_Liam," a voice thundered through the house. Angel jumped inwardly along with his past self. It was disconcerting to see that his father could still scare him, even after everything. The sudden yell a shock to his system, the door smashed open violently and the surroundings dissolved._

It was slower going back, Angel could hear things but he couldn't seem to see. He waited for his eyes to adjust. It took about five minutes, he groaned as every fibre in his body screamed with pain. He sat up though, he had been lying on the floor, Giles was kneeling over and Willow was standing over another limp form.

"Angel,' Willow said, seeing him, Giles looked up. "We were so worried," she continued, "Are you okay. Oh my god, if your out of it then why isn't Buffy? Is she okay? Wasn't she there?"

Angel sat there, unsure of what Willow was saying. Then it registered, "Buffy,' he couldn't seem to get up, so he crawled towards her slowly. Giles let him through grudgingly. He checked her pulse, it was strong and steady. She was breathing. What was wrong then, why hadn't she woken up yet. Panic started to choke him, if anything had happened to her... it would be his fault.

Her arm grabbed his jacket and she gasped, her eyes snapping open. She sat up quickly, her eyes locked on his.

"What the hell was that?" she finally whispered She saw in his eyes that Angel couldn't answer, he didn't know himself.


	8. Behind the Wrapper

**Behind the Wrapper**

"_Just like wrappers people aren't always what you expect, and know more then you can think."_

Buffy walked slowly up her front porch, dragging her feet; she was hardly looking where she was going. This going back to the past thing was really taking toil on her.

She fumbled with her key and slotted it into the lock, flicking the door open. She flicked the switch, her mum wasn't home yet, a swap over, since Buffy was usually the one who checked in after her mum.

Giles had sent her home early after that recent episode. He had said he'd explain to the teachers and Snyder that she wasn't feeling extremely well. He had left the explaining to her mum, to her. 'Typical men,' Buffy thought grumpily. Buffy had been inclined to argue, from the way Angel was almost falling off his feet too, but Willow had noticed her gaze and had offered to take care of him. If it had been any of the others Buffy would have argued to stay, but she knew Willow, without a bitter bone in her body, would do what she promised. Unlike the others Willow had learned to forgive, so had Oz as far as Buffy could tell, more of a move on to the future type of guy. It was the others Buffy was wary of; Xander and Giles were more of the hold a grudge forever type of guys. Not that in Giles it wasn't without reason.

Buffy dragged her bag up the stairs, she didn't have any homework as far as she could remember, and she didn't really care even if she did. She was in no state to do any sort of homework, no state to do anything. She fell on her bed, grabbing Mr. Gordo, she plopped him on her stomach in front of her, and his little eyes looked into hers. She absently stroked him, looking up at her ceiling which was in a definite need of a repaint.

The house was silent, nothing moved, Buffy just lay there blissfully doing nothing. She felt like she'd swum around the world and then done a four kilometer run, but her mind still couldn't turn off, she had to think of something before she did that.

She thought of the memories she had seen, from the first in that closet there had been a boy and his mother, Angel and his mother. Buffy thought about the cute little boy Angel used to be, she had never pictured him as one with puppy fat, but now she thought about it, it wasn't outrageous. It had been seeing him so full of life and happiness, that had really startled her.

Whenever Angel talked about the past, which was rare and in between, he didn't depict things like that. He depicted a young man who wasted his life on drinking and other fancies, had disgraced his father and then was turned, to replay his life in death, with even more viciousness and brutality.

He rarely talked of his father, only to make some bitter observations here and there, and he sometimes talked about his sister at Buffy's request, but he never talked of his mother and Buffy had never asked or even thought about it. Now she saw the little boy and his mother playing hide and seek, his mother protecting him…

It reminded Buffy of her own Mum, how her mum always knew how she was feeling, when to give her ice cream and when to give her room. Her mum was always a shoulder to cry on when she had felt the world too much, a sympathetic ear or a comforting word. Buffy didn't know what she'd ever do without her; she doubted she could handle living with her Dad forever, who didn't have a clue about all the little stuff which made her Buffy. Her Dad was there for a getaway, someone to get presents from and someone to get odd stories, but not a full time parent, not without some help at least.

Buffy didn't know what it was like for boys but she doubted it was much different. She knew they followed their Dad's, but most boys she met were all mummies' boys, even though they didn't seem to notice. They went to their mum's to talk about problems, to get a hug or a kind word. Boys only went to their Dad's for pickup tips or sporting tips, hardly ever for anything else.

Buffy thought about what it would be like for Angel in those days, as a happy little boy and then her thoughts jumped to the angry young man who cringed at the sight of his father. What had happened? Had his mother stopped caring? Had he stopped caring?

She turned over, clutching Mr. Gordo tightly to her, she closed her eyes trying to go to sleep. She saw Angel as a young happy child, a sparkle in his eyes; she growled her eyes snapping open. She turned over closing her eyes again, now she couldn't get out the image of Angel as a young man, her age, his eyes and demeanor were different then, he swaggered and was cocky, he had no burden, nothing showed through his eyes, except… She saw him so clearly and in his eyes there was just the hint of the guilt he carried around now, in his shoulders just the hint of a burden, wearying, a loathing which grew inside. Buffy turned on her back, growling, she turned to punch her pillow.

"What am I missing," she growled to the empty house. She sat up for a while, nothing came to her and she sighed heavily.

"Fine then," she sighed. She waited a moment, almost hoping, then sighed again heavily and flopped back on to the bed. She slowed her breathing and closed her eyes; she didn't see anything and dozed, falling into sleep.

"_It was a summer night, when she was still a sophomore just going out with Angel, it was a while after the frat incident and she had finally decided she wanted to do coffee. _

_She was dressed up, waiting outside the Espresso Pump, after two hours of fiddling with her outfit she had finally chosen something. She wore her hair loose around her shoulders, it formed ringlets around her face, she wore an emerald green top with green eye shadow to match. A skirt rested on her hips, a belt hung around her waist as decoration only. She had some mascara and lip gloss on and black high heels finished her look. She looked nervously around, fiddling with her handbag. She kept on unconsciously putting her hand into it, grasping her stake and running her hand over the wood._

"_Hey," a soft voice sounded behind her, she swiveled around to be met with Angel, a very awkward looking Angel. He looked the same with his hair gel, a red top she had once told him he'd looked spunky in and general black pants. The difference was the semi dinner jacket, semi casual jacket he wore. It looked brand new, Angel had obviously not known what to go for and had decided for in between. Buffy winced mentally, he had seemed to copy the idea with his collar too, it was half up, half down, he didn't seem to notice though. _

"_These are for you," he said, holding out his hand slightly stiffly. There were a bouquet of roses in his hands and a delicate box, wrapped uneatly. Buffy blushed, touched, she took them graciously. _

"_Thanks," she said quietly. She fumbled in her purse, pulling out her own, more neatly wrapped present; Angel wasn't the only one with that idea. He turned slightly pink, "You shouldn't have," he said, almost inaudible, "Keep it."_

"_That's kind of' hard," said Buffy, a little of the awkwardness leaving her, "Since it's guys cologne. Of course I could give it to Xander, I'm sure he'd like it." _

_As she suspected it was out of her hands before she could blink. Angel put the small box in his coat pocket. _

"_Thanks," he mumbled. "It's been a long time since anyone's…" he trailed off. _

"_Do you want to go in," Buffy asked. _

_Angel immediately put out his arm, Buffy looked at it for a second clueless. _

"_Sorry, said Angel, turning a darker pink, "It's a habit that hasn't died…" he trailed off again turning pinker._

_Buffy quickly linked her arm in his, "It's gallant," she said, "I was just so surprised to see something like that actually come from a guy. I thought stuff like that only happened in movies. Pinch me please, on second thoughts cut that till after my wonderful date with the hot knight."_

_Angel looked down, not meeting her gaze. They ordered and went to sit at a table. Their orders soon followed them their and Angel paid for the two muffins, one latte and one chocolate drink. They sat in silence for a while, Buffy took a bite of her chocolate muffin and Angel sipped his hot chocolate. After Buffy had finally finished chewing and swallowing she asked him something she had been wondering since they'd ordered. _

"_I thought you can't eat," she said, frowning slightly._

_Angel shrugged, "I don't have to but I can if I want," he said, "Sometimes I have cravings, like last night I had a hunger for marshmallows."_

_Buffy smiled, they sat there, the silence stretching. Angel was looking around the coffee place, obviously searching frantically for something to talk about. _

"_You know there coffee's really great here, you should try one," Buffy said, through a sip of her own. _

_By Angel's crestfallen look the topic he was searching for was anything but him. Buffy didn't cave though; this was the only time when she'd probably still her curiosity about him without work interrupting. _

"_I like hot chocolate better," Angel mumbled, "When I was alive it was a treat we rarely got." _

_Buffy sipped her latté considering this, it was hard to conceive. "Did you have any brothers and sisters," she asked suddenly. It had been something that had been nagging her for a while; she had just not ever voiced it. _

"_Yes," said Angel quietly, "A little sister." _

_Buffy didn't say anything; she saw Angel's shoulders tense. She remembered him saying a while ago that his family had been killed, and then later being brought into the light from Giles that it had been **he** who had killed them. _

"_I've always wanted one," she said quickly, trying to break the awkward silence. _

_Angel smiled at this, "Its fun," he said. Then he opened up, it was a whole new aspect of Angel that Buffy had hardly ever glimpsed again after that night. He had talked about his sister, all the funny little things she did, all the things he had annoyed her with. That had got them talking about family, Buffy talked about her father, her parents divorce and her feeling that sometimes it was her fault. _

"_It's not," said Angel quickly, something like fierceness flickered in his eyes. "If your parents ever say that, you should…" he didn't seem to find anything which could defeat such a crime._

"_They don't," said Buffy quickly, "They're both really supportive." _

_Angel looked slightly sheepish, "I know," he said, "I mean hearing you talk about your dad and mum, they're good to you. In my days fathers didn't concern themselves with the children and mothers were the ones to look after them, until they were old enough to bring the fathers glory that is." _

"_Talk about sexist," said Buffy. _

"_Hmmmm…" said Angel, seeming to be lost in thought. _

"_Although sometimes I think mum's a bit **too** supportive," Buffy said, scrunching up her face as she though of her mum that morning telling her to change her top, as she had though it was too revealing. _

"_She seems nice though," said Angel," Everyone always complains about their parents but when they leave… it's a different story, they don't seem to mind all the bad things anymore just see the good and wish…"_

_Buffy was silent, taking in what he had said, back then she had thought it had just been his experience with other people's loss. Now, in her dream state she was wondering if it wasn't his **own** experience he was referring to. _

"_I suppose," she said, not really committing to it as she was still smarting after the argument her mother and her had that morning._

"_It's difficult you know," said Angel suddenly. "Parents seem to have such a big part in your life, they make you who you are, and give up themselves for you. It doesn't seem fair, especially when you turn out to be something that doesn't deserve it." Buffy was silent at this, unsure how to react to the passion in his voice and the guilt in his eyes. _

"_I suppose it's not," she said quietly, "But what is fair in life? Definitely not the amount of coffee they gave me at this price. For this she got a weak smile and a topic change. _

_They had talked a while longer about other things, until Buffy had realized it was almost 10'oclock they left, leaving a small tip on the table with two empty glasses and one half eaten chocolate muffin (Buffy's). _

_They had walked along the quiet streets of Sunnydale, things had been a bit calmer the last couple of weeks. They walked in companionable silence until they reached Buffy's front doorstep. Her mum had flaked after coming home from a busy day at the Gallery; she had stayed up long enough to tell Buffy she could go out. Buffy realized she was really tired when she hadn't even asked where, with whom and finished with the usual, "You better be home by ten young lady."_

_That's why they stood at her doorstep, faint light coming from inside illuminating their faces, as Buffy knew they would not be interrupted or seen._

"_I had a nice night," Buffy said, shyness cloaked her again like an old friend._

"_Me too," said Angel, the same thing seemed to have hit him as he had returned to talking in inaudible tones. _

_They stood their in awkward silence for a while. _

"_Thanks again for the gift and flowers," Buffy said, lost with what to say._

"_That's okay," Angel said, addressing Buffy's porch floor. Then it followed like a perfect script, "Thanks for the cologne." _

_Buffy hid a smile, she had really got him a small painting of a country scene, it made her feel calm and at peace when she first spotted it and she thought he may appreciate the feeling. Of course he didn't have to know what it really was until he opened it and got a pleasant surprise. _

"_That's okay," she replied. _

_Some more awkward silence ensued. Buffy was just really getting to know her front porch really well when she noticed Angel was looking at her. She smiled, looking up, he didn't look away. He lent a bit closer and she lent a bit closer, impact as she got a small kiss as a reward. They lent a bit closer and he wrapped his arms around her as she lent her head on him. It felt sweet, it felt nice and for a moment it felt like they could just stay like that forever. _

_She broke his embrace a little, looking into his eyes. They made her think of something she had read in English class, the peaceful moment gave her the courage to voice her thought._

"_Did you know that your eyes are your window to your soul," she said softly. _

"_Really,' he replied absently. "That must be true though because all I see in yours is beauty."_

_Buffy blushed a bright red, but it was nice embarrassment. "Do you want to know what I see in yours?" she asked. Angel didn't say anything._

"_Maybe later," he finally replied softly. _

_They stayed like that for a while until Angel finally broke the embrace. "I have to go," he said, "I better get home before sunrise."_

_Buffy sighed quietly, but nodded understanding. A boyfriend that was a pile of dust would be no help to her. _

_Before Angel could disappear into the darkness though, she called, "Courage and loyalty, guilt and responsibility, yearning and love. I love you too." Angel kept on walking as if he hadn't heard and disappeared, as if he was never there. Buffy wasn't even sure he **had** heard. "This **is** later," she muttered, but she smiled again despite herself. She stood their for a while, just smiling and staring into the darkness. A cat finally startled her out of her reverie and she reluctantly opened the door and walked into the square of light, locking the darkness out and unconsciously the figure that had paused out of sight to gaze at her for a little while longer. _

"_I know," it finally whispered, "It's not your love I'm yearning for." Then it crept further into the night and took the quiet streets back to its empty mansion._

In the library Angel had fallen a sleep a little while ago. It was a relief to the rest of the Scooby's having to deal with the tension between him and Giles, and the unhelpful snide remarks from Xander.

"Do you think maybe we should wake him up," asked Cordelia a little while later in their lunch brake. "You know all that sleep can't be good, especially for a homicidal vampire."

"He's not homicidal," said Willow but her defense wasn't said with much conviction though.

"I'm all for waking Dead Boy up," said Xander, "I'm thinking it's better to have him in a room where we can watch him, rather then have him taking all our weapons, locking us inside and picking us off one by one."

"You've had a lot of time to think about this," Oz noted.

"Well someone has to," said Xander, "Since a certain Slayer is under his control."

"I don't think she's under his control," Willow said again, trying to gain some ground. "I don't even think he can do spells, I mean he's not a warlock or anything…. Right?"

"Will you lot either wake him up or be quiet for goodness," Giles snapped, surfacing from behind a pile of books. "Either do one thing or the other and get back to researching." He retreated back behind his books.

"Someones feisty today," Xander said. "So who's going to wake him up." All eyes turned to him.

"I'm not going there, he looks like he's not a morning person," Cordelia said, taking out her file and continuing what she was doing, her nails.

"I don't really care either way," said Oz, shrugging and picking up a book.

"Don't look at me," said Willow, "You're the one who thinks he's homicidal"

Xander sighed heavily, mumbling foul things under his breathe. He went to Giles' office, Angel taking up refuge there again. This time the door was wide open the lock being broken. Angel was slumped on the floor, muttering a bit. Xander hovered around the doorway for a few moments then finally took a step towards him. Angel didn't move, Xander took another step.

"Wake up Dead Boy," he said nervously, barely above a whisper. Beside all his brave words he wasn't stupid enough to startle a vampire awake, especially giving Angel an excuse to hit him in the pretense of sleep.

When Angel didn't respond to this he said it a little louder, "Wake up there, it's time to get your dead butt up." Angel still didn't move. Xander came closer, pushing him lightly with his foot.

"Get up," he muttered. Angel didn't stir, wasn't moving, wasn't even breathing. "That's it," muttered Xander, he gave Angel a kick in the stomach, by terms it wasn't that hard but it was the hardest Xander could give. Angel gave a pitiful attempt to move slightly and then fell back to his original position; it was the momentum of the kick that had even moved him at all.

"Oy dead boy," Xander practically screamed in his face, "Get up, there is some nice happy meals hanging around here for free, just waiting for you to eat them." Nothing, not even an eyelid batter. At first Xander had thought he was playing around with him, now he wasn't so sure.

"Giles," Xander called, "Are vampires supposed to be such heavy sleepers."

Giles, already roused by Xanders yelling, was now standing at the doorway, frowning heavily. "No I don't think so," he murmered quietly.

"You don't think…" said Xander his thoughts immedietly moving to Buffy.

"Who knows with a case like this, _he_," he gave a nod of his head, slightly aggressively towards Angels slumbering form, "Could just be a heavy sleeper but then again, we should ring her and see."

"Got it," said Xander quickly running to the phone. Giles slightly white started to follow him but then heard something behind him. He turned, frowning he looked at the vampire it was almost as if… but no what would the vampire know about such things as that. Giles waited for a moment, but the vampire didn't move and after a pause he turned and followed Xander's path to the phone.


	9. Waiting

**Waiting**

_"Waiting for what, you cannot see_

_Waiting longer then you thought you'd be_

_Waiting forever, time seems to slow_

_Waiting and watching time justgoes."_

Angel woke up to feel something nice and comfy under him, it was soft and smelt like an animal in a vague memory. He didn't open his eyes straight away, he felt too comfortable for that, instead he rolled over, and he felt someone beside him. He opened his eyes, a contented smile on his face, to be met with Buffy, a sleeping Buffy who seemed to be in Victorian clothing, under soft white sheets, with goose feathered pillows and…. He sat up suddenly, looking around frantically, it was a wooden house alright, a wooden house with an old heavy desk and a cracked mirror in the corner, the sunlight was streaming through a window with old drapes pulled back, and a dog sat in the corner, it's tongue out, wagging it's tail. This was Angel's room… when he was human, which was about two hundred years ago. Angel wasn't feeling so content any more, he got up, struggling into some breeches, he quickly ran to the mirror…

"Oh no," he groaned, he pulled the much longer hair he had, his now much younger face falling, "What could I have been thinking," he muttered. He quickly scrabbled through the cupboard, looking for some scissors, a knife, anything that was sharp enough to cut hair; he couldn't let Buffy see him like this. He was also in need of a good shave, he ran his hand over his mouth as he was searching, girls didn't like kissing bristly people, he doubted Buffy would anyway. He began opening the drawers violently, searching for anything at all, any sharp object; he left things where they fell on the cold floorboards.

"Angel," Angel turned around, dreading what he'd be met with. Buffy was looking around slightly disoriented, "Where are we?" she asked, Angel gave a little sigh, she hadn't noticed the hair, that was good.

"Were in me' room….," Angel said, then he stopped, his accent, it was a heavy Irish lilt, he hadn't spoken like that in many years.

Buffy frowned, she still was heavy with sleep, "What am I doing in your room, and why are you dressed in that weird costume… what are you doing?" she looked behind him, where draws were hanging out and things were scattered.

Angel suddenly started to laugh, he sat down on the bed heavily, "I was lookin' for some scissors," he said, and he laughed harder.

"Scissors?" Buffy asked, her face completely reflecting confusion.

"Aye, were stuck in me' past, and I was looking for some scissors, so ye' would not see me' hair," he laughed harder.

"Oh," Buffy said, still a bit sleepy, "Well the hair…. It's… I suppose it was fashiona… I think you look good no matter what…" she finished quite lamely.

"I know it looks bad," Angel said, "Don't worry."

"That's good," Buffy said, "Now that's taken care of, how do we get out of here exactly?"

Angel shrugged, "I suppose we'll jus' fade back, like before, ye know."

"SO we have to wait," Buffy pouted, "I hate waiting," she said fiercely.

"Tis the only plan we have," Angel said, painfully aware of his accent, which Buffy hadn't seemed to have obtained.

"So we wait," Buffy said, sitting up now.

"We wait," Angel nodded.

They sat there in silence for a while, looking at different walls awkwardly.

"I like the accent," Buffy suddenly said, "You can keep the accent, the accents good, just not the hair."

"Believe me," Angel said, turning to her, "I don' want to keep the hair."

"Want to look for some scissors again?" Buffy asked.

Angel shrugged, "Tis preferable to sittin' round here."

"Waiting," Buffy finished.


	10. Old Times

**Okay I don't do this much but I know I like to have replies to my reviews if possible so I thought I really should show my appreciation to those who review me. **

**BadGirlFaith: sorry I take so long to update, this is for all pplz who read my story, I've had a writers block, I know it sounds lame but I just couldn't seem to get the words out, plus cause of the holidays I've been spending lots of time cleaning….lol. Thanks for the review and I'll try really hard to update sooner, I'm just not allowed on the internet a lot. **

**Ghostwriter: thanks for the review, I know how you feel bout school, same as me, darn it, if only we didn't need education.. lol.**

**dalmatiangrl2: lol, yeah I love Irish accents I think their cool, I think DB isn't really successful with the accent, but he tries and it comes out good sometimes, I hate the hair more though…lol . Thanks for the review. **

**Arica Princess of Rivendell: It's here, it's updated lol. REVIEW plz. Lol. Hope you like. **

CHAPTER TEN

**OLD TIMES**

"_Old Times, Holed up_

_Can't find that lost cup_

_The sleeping beauty lies in wait_

_For the knight to come in haste_

_Old times, Holed up_

_Can't find that way up,"_

Joyce had come home to find Buffy asleep in her bed, she tried waking her, it didn't seem to work. That was when her fears came to light, again, parents are parents after all, and their main occupation is to worry. So Joyce did just this and worried, and with a daughter as the Slayer it was no surprise, that worrying took up most of her days. Joyce banged pots and pans near Buffy, she shook her, she yelled her name, and when that didn't work with complete composure she took up the phone, the pink one she had bought Buffy for her sixteenth birthday, and dialed those three digits.

The ambulance came, tried to wake her, they didn't help either and Joyce felt annoyed, obviously she had tried shaking her and calling her name, that's why she had called them. They looked completely confused; there was a healthy girl who appeared to be just asleep, beside the small factor that you couldn't wake her. The paramedics tried chatting to Joyce, one was looking hopefully towards the kitchen, Joyce didn't respond, all she could see was her daughter, lying there sleeping, her chest rising and falling. Princess that's what her dad used to call her, that's what she looked like now, just like sleeping beauty. They took her on the stretcher, loaded her up in the ambulance, that's when Giles and Xander landed up. Joyce felt like she was in a dream, about to climb into the vehicle Giles had quickly run over, advised that she should go to the hospital later, there was an important matter they must talk about. He guided Joyce into the house, into her living room; Xander was pale next to him, rubbing his knuckles, he looked more furious then anything.

Joyce stood there, in her trance state; she found it odd there was no music playing in the background, just like in the movies. All the headlines of people suddenly falling into comas and never waking up sprang to her mind; it seemed horrible to see her daughter, but not to have her there, in the world of the living, with Joyce.

Giles, took of his glasses like he so often did, wiping them on his shirt, he put them back on and sighed heavily, he looked more worried, old and vulnerable, even though he wasn't that old, maybe he seemed so to younger people like Buffy, but not to Joyce.

"I fear the doctors may not be able to do anything for Buffy," Giles said gravely, Joyce looked up at him.

"Why?" she asked, her voice cracked, she didn't care, she needed to know what was wrong. "What's happened to her?" she needed to know that most of all, something she had known when Buffy hadn't stirred, that the doctors couldn't answer.

Giles took his glasses off again, "I have a theory but it will be of little use right now… all you really need to know is…" his words faded away as Joyce suddenly grabbed his jacket, pulling him so there faces were close.

"Don't you dare tell me what I need to know Rupert," she practically growled, she was shaking with frustration, helplessness, and an anger against whatever fates had dealt her daughter such a horrible curse, and given her a life of worry and worst of all fear, not of what went bump in the night, but of such a natural process… death. "I need to know what's wrong with my daughter."

"It was dead boy," Xander said viciously, "It's all his fault, he should have stayed deceased the last time, because I'm going to kill him when he wakes up."

"Yes thank you Xander," Giles snapped, turning angrily to the teenager, "We all appreciate your insight, but I believe Miss Summers needs some facts, not just a mere boy's jealousy." He turned back to Joyce, looked her in the eye, "I'm sorry," he said, holding her gaze steadily with a hint of pity. "I have been very insensitive Joyce, forgive me, it is just I am not sure if my theory is something, or simply nothing." He sighed heavily, slipping out of Joyce's grasp, as her hands fell to her side in despair. "I will tell you everything I suspect; after all I know how much I hate to be left in the dark, especially about something so important."

"Who's dead boy?" Joyce asked, turning to Xander and then back to Giles.

"Angel," Giles said, rather frostily Joyce thought.

"What does he have to do with this?" Joyce asked quickly, her blood rising, so he was the cause of Buffy's endangerment again. Well at least Joyce knew this time around; at least Joyce could protect Buffy.

"I believe…" Giles hesitated, "Well quite frankly I believe he's behind all of this… I think it's unintentional though." he looked like he wished it wasn't.

"So what's your theory?" Joyce asked, determined to hear the worst or the best, so long as it could give her an inkling of what was wrong with her daughter.

"I believe," Giles began, "Well I suppose I should begin with Angel's past, the human Angel not his vampire countenance. I have been reading the Watchers diaries, but you have to know, I'm not entirely sure about this theory, it could be something else entirely…"

"Spill it G-man," Xander said, standing with his arms crossed. Giles gave him an annoyed look.

"Yes, well it's mostly based on speculation, but there have been many watchers who have tried to delve into Angelus' pass, obviously to find a weakness in the vampire, and for historical purposes. They have never really found much, as he massacred nearly his whole village along with Darla when sired… but it is clear that he was not a very happy young man."

"What gave that away," Xander snorted, "Was it the fact he died, or the massacring."

This time both Giles and Joyce gave him a dirty look. "As I was saying," Giles continued, "They researched, apparently some children managed to escape, as they ran and took cover deep in the forest, or in some boats. They passed down there stories to there children, and down it went for generations, until Charles, a Watcher, went to research a new Irish vampire which had cropped up, growing his way to fame in the dark world, naturally he brought his Slayer along too. They had found out the vampire had resided in Galway through one of his… lets say vampire girlfriends." With this he turned slightly red with embarrassment and Joyce found herself reddening.

"Come on children," Xander said, "Maturity," but he looked grim, and he wasn't smiling.

'Anyway," Giles moved on, "When they got there they found one house which was empty and dissolute, in a town that was overflowing, well at that time it had turned from a small country town to a busy sea port. They asked about it, and their inquiries unfolded the story, fabricated of course, but some facts still in tact. The people proclaimed that the devil's own son had lived their. One of misguided beauty, he was cold and cruel, not responding to any of his father's attempts to reform him. His father soon despaired and could only punish him in the hopes to at least put the fear of God in him, if nothing else. They used to hear the yelling down the street, domestics in lesser times, you could say. The boy apparently turned to all sorts of disgraceful things. Then one day he was found dead in the alley, but he arose, proving apparently the towns suspicion he had the devil in him all along. He killed all the people apparently, even his own sister who people proclaimed fought valiantly against him an angel in disguise, they believed, as they found lying Angel's old bed, unlike the other victims which lay where they were killed,…. Petals lay around her body, dresses in a white silk dress…."

Giles trailed, and looked away for a moment, regaining his composure, finally he continued, "Apparently he spared those who were young to spread the devil's evilness, all of these children apparently died poor, and the curse was set on to the rest of their family. Of course Charles saw through this as an excuse for wrongdoing on the ancestor's part, and wrote so, he found out the true story of events about the children's real escape from an old lady. Apparently she had lived there for many years, she said she was about twelve when Angel was turned, she got away because she was finding herbs for her sick mother, and only returned in the morning. Her mother apparently was best friends with Angel's, her name was Rosa, her family had come to Ireland at fourteen, she had adopted its culture as her own. The old woman told of her mothers distress one day of the year, the day of Rosa's death. Apparently she died of a pandemic which had spread through the town, Angel almost died of this but it was his mother it took instead. Apparently the old ladies mother had looked after the child after his mother's death, he was torn up about it. The father took him back and ignored the ladies outreach for friendship, and did not let Angel stay with her and her oldest son again. The father blamed Angel for his mother's death, the lady believed. Charles found this all exceedingly interesting, and had thought that they had finally found a weakness of Angelus' but the council deemed this investigation as unimportant and proclaimed that Angelus was a vampire like any other, and would soon die because of his own folly, or at the hand's of the Slayer down the track, of course at that time Angelus was not the scourge of Europe yet. So Charles and his Slayer left, both of them died a few years later, and his research was forgotten. When Angelus' was at his prime the Council tried desperately to find a way to stop him, there careless remarks forgotten, and along with them Charles research."

"So, what's this got to do with Buffy?" Joyce asked, annoyed at the little pang of pity she felt for that poor boy.

"Well…" Giles said, "I believe that a spell, some sort of spell, was done by Angel, of course, a demon that professes in this sort of thing would have actually done it, but they would need to be told, the memory that is wanted to be forgotten. I believe that Charles was onto something. Even as a demon one time in the year, or near it, Angelus seemed to cease activity, go off on his own, usually having fights with his sire Darla. The council never realized why, just knew that at least one time in the year, the deaths that happened almost every day at his hands, stopped. I have cross referenced and it appears to be the same day Angelus' mother was to have thought to have died, actually the same day he was turned, and the day before the whole town of Galway was massacred. I don't know why the spell has gone wrong, I need to research more, and find out what's happened. It will be impossible to reverse the effects if we don't know the origins."

"So all we can do is research and wait until we get that lucky brake," Joyce said, holding her head and slumping down on the couch, "If we get a lucky brake."

"I hate waiting," Xander said darkly.

"Do you think we'll get Buffy back?" Joyce asked, "Will she ever wake up?"

"I don't know," Giles said, anxiety spreading over his whole face, "I honestly don't know. But I had to call for Charles particular diary, and I recounted what was occurring to the Watchers Council, they decided I would need assistance so help is on the way, or what I hope will be help."

"Well I suppose we better get back," Xander suddenly said, "Back to good old research."

"No rest for the wicked," Giles sighed, "Would you like me to give you a ride, Ms Summers?"

Back to formality but Joyce didn't notice, "Rest only flickered, No rest for the wicked or good," she whispered quietly, thinking of the old rhyme her grandmother had taught her. Would there be any rest for her, or her daughter, for all the people who tried to be good in the world?

"Ms Summers?" Giles asked, concerned.

Joyce looked up, "Yes I'd appreciate that, and Giles after the hospital….I'd like to research too. I want to find out what's wrong with Buffy, I want to help."

Giles nodded, and they left to see the sleeping beauty and then to search through the past of the vampire with a soul Angel, probably even going as far back as the scourge of Europe, and even further back, to the old times when there was just a young man named Liam.


	11. Ever Forget

**Ever Forget**

Angel looked at his reflection in the mirror. The quality wasn't very good, they hadn't really perfected it yet, but it was enough to see his reflection in. And that was what he was staring at, himself, with Buffy standing behind him, her tongue between her teeth as she cut his hair.

"Tada," she exclaimed as she snipped off the last piece with a final flourish and examined the finished product. It was shaggier and more lopsided then Angel imagined it would look, but it was better then nothing he supposed. Besides he was more concerned with looking at his face, which he hadn't seen in two hundred years, then at his hair.

"Angel," Buffy said, prodding him at his lack of response. "Angel."

"Wh…what?" he tore his eyes away from the mirror and turned to her.

"How do you like it?"

"Oh it's uh…is that what it really looks like?"

"Well sort of," Buffy said, "I mean I suppose it could use a little bit of gell, or maybe a lot…but it's the general idea. Hello are you even listening to me?"

He had turned back to the mirror and was looking at himself transfixed.

"Okay someone has a case of narcissism," she said rolling her eyes. She took her hand and waved it in front of his face, "Earth to Angel, come in."

"Sorry," he said, getting up from the chair and moving away from the mirror. "It's just I haven't seen my reflection in such a long time…I just…I forgot what I looked like. I thought it would be a bit…older…"

"Well yeah…you do look a bit younger then I remember," Buffy frowned, "Like a lot younger, like my age…but it's not bad… your still handsome," she gave him a brilliant smile, a thought forming in her head as he frowned at her words.. "So now we've cut your hair maybe we should try doing some other things? Like making use of those good looks." She moved slightly closer to him, her lips pressing forward, he gently pushed her away.

"We can't," he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

She frowned, "Why not?" she demanded.

"Because, we don't know how this thing works," Angel pointed out. "I could still be cursed Buffy, Angelus could still be buried somewhere in my mind. I don't want to let him out again."

"But your human," Buffy said, trying to make her voice sound reasonable and coaxing all in the same breath as she moved closer to him. "You can breathe, you can eat, you have a heart beat, I can feel it."

"I just can't risk it," he said, turning away from her, his voice agonized.

She sighed heavily, but she could see the point of his argument. "What's the point of being here if we can't have any fun?" she grumbled, sitting heavily on the bed. "And what's with this weird dress, it's so uncomfortable geesh."

"Well hopefully we'll be back to the real world in a little while," Angel sighed, sitting beside her, "This is just some sort of magical illusion of my past or memories, and it'll go away like the others did. I don't particularly remember this…well the night with the maid I do…but the morning…" at Buffy's look he realized his mistake, and quickly attempted to change the subject. "I mean it can't last very long, can it?"

Before she could reply with some inquiries which would not benefit either of them someone knocked on the door.  
"Liam," came a young girls voice, "Liam, are you up yet? May I come in?"

Angel looked at the door, his voice stark white.

"Whose that?" Buffy hissed, panicked.

"Kathy?" he said faintly, getting up unconsciously and moving towards the door.

"Angel," Buffy hissed, grabbing for him, but he shook her off. She guessed her slayer powers didn't follow her into this world. She gave up as his hand rested on the doorknob, and quickly slipped under the bed as he opened it.

Angel looked down at his younger sister. There she stood, not slumped over with blood staining her white dress as he saw her in his nightmares, but whole and healthy and giving him that smile she always reserved just for him.

"You took ever so long to open the door," she said, walking past him and into the room. He remembered Buffy too late, but she had appeared to have hidden herself somewhere, and he almost forgot her as his sister jumped onto his bed. "I came to tell you that Papa found your bed empty last night. I tried to prevent him, but he would not be dissuaded. Papa is going to be really angry with you this morning. You should not have gone out last night with Charlie. You promised Papa too."

"Kathy," was all he managed to say, taking every inch of her in with a feeling of joy. "My Kathy."

"Liam are you all right?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Of course, how could I not be," he rushed towards her, to embrace her, and then hesitated as he reached the bed, almost afraid she would evaporate if he touched her. Instead of embracing her he sat on the bed beside her, still drinking the sight of her in.

"You sure nothings ailing you?" she asked, "You look so…odd…"

"I am just glad," he said, "So very glad Kathy."

"Have you been drinking again? Do you want me to throw a bucket of water over you again?"

She giggled and he suddenly flung his arms around her, unable to resist, and held her close.

"Liam," she complained, squirming out of his tight embrace, though she was smiling as he let her go. "What urges you to act so?"

"Tis just…tis just so good to see you," he said giving her a bear hug again, as she protested and gave him a light slap.

"Master Liam, you're finally up I see," Angel promptly let go of Kathy just as the maid, Sarah, came into the room. She glared daggers at Angel, as she moved to start his fire.

"Sarah?" he looked at her in confusion. But wasn't Buffy taking her place? Taken her body in this world? So if Sarah was here who was the maid he'd been with… He wished he hadn't drunken so much that night, the memory was almost completely faded with the drink and the two hundred years it had been since it happened did not help.

"Yes Master Liam?" she practically spat out his name. Angel supposed she had known what he had been up to last night, and she wasn't amused.

"Kathy," this was just getting worse, Angel thought as his stepmother came into the room. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing ma," she said, quickly rising from her bed and looking slightly guilty. "I just was talking to Liam."

"What did I tell you child," her stepmother gave Angel a dirty look as she quickly pulled Kathy towards her. "Liam is not to be talked to until his father gets home, he is in disgrace. And you can leave that Sarah," she called imperiously to the kneeling servant, who quickly left the room with a bob of her head and a "Yes ma'am."

"You may go too Kathy," she said, pushing her daughter towards the door. She hesitated for a moment, looked towards Angel, then left.

Angel remembered that as a young man he had always felt slightly frightened by his stepmother, Kathy's mother, and her imperious ways. Right then all he felt was slight embarrassment as a woman younger then him was obviously planning on berating him. He rose awkwardly, avoiding her gaze. He had given her a relatively quick death, not petals for her, no sweet touches, just left her body lying in an alley somewhere. He had never really paid her much heed, she was an older woman trying to place restrictions on him, and he resented her only as his father's tool. But now he saw her he realized she was not that old, only thirty. And he had no idea how to react around her.

Instead of a lecture however she just sighed and shook her head. "Your father wants to talk to you once he gets home Liam," she said, her voice prim and proper, "He has instructed me to tell you that if you stray from your room it will be worse for you. I suggest that you read the good book to pass the time, and try and remember that God may make us imperfect, but he expects us to strive for something better. And if you attempt to influence my Kathy to assist you in your exploits your father's wrath will be nothing to mine."

With that she promptly turned and shut the door with a decisive click behind her. Angel heard a key turn to lock it, and her footsteps retreated down the corridor.

Angel looked at the door blankly, speechless. He had forgotten what it was like to be a young man in the power of others, to be berated like a naughty boy. He did not find the experience pleasant.

"Gee," Buffy said, slipping out from under the bed. "She's not exactly the passive nurturing motherly type they describe in the history books."

"No, she wasn't," Angel sighed, "I suppose I can't blame her…"

"So what do we do now?" Buffy asked, "Now that were locked in a room together, alone…"

Angel looked at her, "Well we'll have to do something about you. You can't be hiding under my bed for however long were here for." Angel pointed out.

"And how long do you expect that will be?" Buffy frowned, "I mean Angel this isn't exactly like the other times, first of all we can actually control our bodies, and secondly... I mean where are we?"

Angel frowned, running his hand through his hair. "I don't know," Angel looked at her, worry marked on his face, "But I think we might be in my past, I mean actually_ in_ my past Buffy…"

"All right," Buffy said slowly, looking slightly shocked and slumping onto his bed. "Were in 17th century Ireland, where women were oppressed and they didn't have cars, or TV, or hygiene…"

"Well we did have baths," Angel pointed out, Buffy ignored him, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"So what do we do now Angel?" she asked quietly, panic tingeing her voice, "How do we get home?"

* * *

In Sunnydale Angel's slumped body stirred slightly in the library, his eyes flickered and suddenly they snapped open. He groaned and looked around, disorientated, then quickly he stood up, glancing around the room in fear.

"Where am I?" he gasped.

* * *

**Geesh I haven't updated this in ages. And I felt like writing it, so I did… Review if your still reading. Also I hate the hair, with a passion, so he loses it and I don't care if it's not the thing to do in those days. I'm sure there was someone with short hair. Oh and him being called Angelus, well I always thought in my head that before he got turned that would have been a nickname for him, something his friends called him, so that's what happens in the story. Oh yeah and please just imagine he's speaking with that terrible but cute attempt at an Irish accent, because I can't write it very well so I just gave up.**


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